Drama: Three ways to know if it’s YOU

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how to eliminate drama (read it here: https://wordpress.com/post/nofreakout.com/31) from your team or organization.  Drama has the ability to create so much side-ways energy that it can derail and in the worse case, destroy your purpose, mission or goal.   As leaders we have the ability to set the tone, “speed of the leader, speed of the team” as it goes.  So what if the drama in our organization is actually flowing downhill… from you the leader?  If there is drama in your organization, it might be a good time to do some self-evaluation to discover if the drama on your team is a direct result of the ripple effects from you as the leader.  Here are a couple of things to consider.

  1. Are You Curious.  When we’re curious we’re more apt to listen.  When we’re curious we ask questions for clarity and lean into conversations without personal agenda.  This takes time, usually more time than we feel we have, but the reality is that if we can get curious, keep from speaking too fast and listen we will add value to the people we’re talking to and that will result in conversations that don’t get personal and end up with sideways drama, but focus on the problem rather than people (myself mostly).  If you find yourself feeling frustrated, anxious, or notice changes in your physical condition (increased heart rate, getting “hot under the collar”), take that as a cue that you need to practice curiosity.  What are the indicators that you’ve moved from curiosity into the drama zone?
  2. Are you Jumping to Conclusions. This is a big one for me.  Most of the time because I’m moving too fast and I’m already 14 steps ahead of the conversation in my mind.  This little devil will speed to the front as a direct result of #1 above.  When we move too fast, don’t take time to listen and get curious we run the risk of jumping to conclusions without hearing all of the details or we create our own narrative because we don’t want to take the time and energy that is required to dig down and seek understanding.  By jumping to conclusions we create unintended-consequences that we will need to address later (drama).  Are you creating un-needed drama because you tend to jump to conclusions without getting all of the details, seeking wise counsel or listening?
  3. Do You Have A Fixed Mindset?  We can all be passionate and zealous about our goals, vision and mission.  But at what point do we stop being learners and allow a fixed mindset to creep in?  Carol Dweck, Ph.D. defines mindsets this way in her book, Mindset, The New Psychology of Success; “The growth mindset will allow a person to live a less stressful and more successful life. In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits.” This can be true of our ideas, strategies and business models as well.  Missions remain the same, but models have to be flexible and change. How stuck are you? Do you tend to defend your ideas, thoughts or strategy rather than approaching new ideas or concepts with an open, growth mindset?

My husband and I try to live by this axiom to keep drama to a minimum in our marriage, our work places and our relationships.  We call it “Quick, Slow, Slow”.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  Ironically, this advise was penned over 2000 years ago by one of the disciples of Jesus, in the book of James 1:19. Good words and advise that are still relevant today.

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